LET’S WATCH A LINEMAN EAT CANDY IN HIS SLEEP

1. How many Sour Patch Kids is that in the mouth of Clemson defensive lineman Albert Huggins? It’s easily six by observed count of how many Ben Boulware puts in there, and probably more once you notice there are a few more in there between takes. It’s a lot of damn Sour Patch kids.

2. We really didn’t need to type “defensive lineman” did we? His name is “Albert Huggins Jr.” He has no choice but to play defensive line, weigh at least 275 pounds, and do things like eat Sour Patch Kids in his sleep.

3. Does he in fact wake up and he eat them, you ask, lacking the patience to even make it though the first fifteen seconds of a video without leaping to something else? Yes, reader. He’s a defensive lineman being transported from point A to point B on a piece of transportation he does not have to drive. He’s a mastiff, and not only will he fall asleep whenever he is not needed, he will also eat whatever you put into his mouth without waking. Then, he will continue sleeping.

4. Does he know he was filmed doing this? Yes, and would only like you to note that his teammate was deeply inconsiderate in not spreading his social media brand when he shared his sleep-eating with the world.

5. Follow Albert Huggins Jr. on Twitter is what we’re saying, if only to show Ben Boulware proper social media courtesy. It’s the least you can do after watching him eat Sour Patch Kids in his sleep.

6. “my mans didn’t even flinch”

7. For those concern trolling: Sour Patch Kids probably don’t present a choking hazard for someone as big as Albert Huggins, or any other linemen. You could probably three Chik-n-Minis in his mouth before he woke up—and even then, after watching this, that seems like a bet, not a certainty. Swedish Fish, though? That might be an attempted manslaughter charge. Those things could choke a moose.