FIGHT FOR (AND AT) MISSISSIPPI STATE

Pootie Tang is real, and it really is possible to fight multiple assailants at once with a belt. We’ve seen it. There it is, live from Starkville, Mississippi, wearing a Realtree hunting camo shirt and what we can only assume are Wrangler jeans, taking a strap to some understandably shocked dudes.

Special shouts out to the guy who throws a drink on him, though.

One might think this man is trying to distract or blind our belt-wielding Skoal Goliath here. There is another possibility, though, one one gleaned from years of watching rednecks brawl at tailgates: the Stone Cold approach, i.e. that applying 12 ounces of beer directly to the face of an enraged man only makes him five times stronger. He might be merely trying to help our beloved, belt-whoopin’ QT Tang survive a lopsided fight.

We choose to believe this, because it means professional wrestling is based on real science.

P.S. It did not end well for Ol’ Boy, proving the belt is strictly an opening gambit for everyone who is not actually Pootie Tang.

P.P.S. CARRY THE BABY, PUSH THE YETI.

P.P.P.S. Hail State? HAIL STATE.