SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 7.32: BLOOD WEEK

OH you thought it was gonna be quiet this weekend, that’s adorable. C’mere. Let us pinch your cheek, smile at you, and watch while college football picks your pocket and takes it to Best Buy to purchase ALL the necessaries for the house. Why’d college football buy five Nest smart thermostats it uses as paperweights? BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T LOOKING, BUDDY, AND BLOOD WEEK GOTTA SHINE.

Look at all these things Ryan compiled that are absolutely true facts about the 2017 season after this week!

• Rutgers has more conference wins than Indiana, the team that just took Michigan to overtime
• Syracuse had the exact same final score - a 27-24 win - against Clemson as they did against Pitt
• Boston College had more rushing yards, passing yards, and points than Alabama
• Tennessee outscored Washington, tripled up Wazzu, and still lost to South Carolina
• Notre Dame and UVA have the same record

ALL TRUE. ALL BLOOD. BLOOD WEEK CAME AND YOU WEREN’T READY FOR IT, RIGHT DOWN TO WASHINGTON HELPING ARIZONA STATE’S DEFENSE TURN INTO THE SECOND COMING OF THE 2011 ALABAMA DEFENSE. THIS EPISODE’S AN HOUR AND SIXTEEN MINUTES LONG AND WE STILL LEFT OUT THINGS TO TALK ABOUT BECAUSE OF ALL THE DAMAGE IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

TL;DR: I’M GONNA ELBOW DROP THE TROMBONE PLAYER.