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Shutdown Fullcast 4.32: Week One Reviewed, or SEC TRASH

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NO REALLY, IT’S WEEK ONE AND THE SEC IS TRASH

LSU v Wisconsin Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Remember that thing where SEC teams were going to start playing real teams to start the season, and not cupcake games against the overmatched dregs of FCS? THAT MAY HAVE BEEN A MISTAKE.

Ryan, Jason, and Spencer review the first weekend of the season up until Sunday, which we do not cover because we recorded this early on Sunday, when Notre Dame lost to Texas. It would have been fun to talk about Notre Dame losing painfully in OT to a Texas team it beat by thirty points and more last year, but we did not have time to discuss how Notre Dame could not stop the offense of a team that last year lost a howler to Iowa State. Again, we did not discuss this hilarious failure by Notre Dame, a team whose disappearance into a crater or timefold or other deep hole opening into another dimension would diminish the overall value of college football and society at large by zero percent.

We also did not discuss how ugly-ass the ugly-ass Under Armour shirts Notre Dame's staff had to wear on the sidelines. Static-ass ugly-ass 1992-lookin-ass shirts.

So since we did not discuss that, we talk about the following instead:

  • How the SEC faceplanted so very badly on opening weekend
  • Why the team with the kicker with the longer hair will always win a game, i.e. why Mississippi State lost at home to South Alabama
  • A special breakout on whatever Kentucky did, which was bad even by the deplorable and intense standards of Kentucky-level failure
  • We don't even discuss Alabama because this is a football podcast not an avalanche report
  • How FCS teams beating FBS teams is a bad thing for your FBS team as long as your team isn't Washington State, which now will reel off nine straight wins and go to the Rose Bowl because this is a new tradition they have and you can't mess with tradition

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