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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 4:37: NOTHING BUT PAIN

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WEEK FOUR HAS NOTHING TO WIN AND EVERYTHING TO LOSE

Florida v Georgia
Wear a disguise, hide, escape this weekend if you can
Photo by Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

The theme for week four -- which we decided after an arduous twenty seconds of thought --- is that there is nothing but pain in every direction, and that every team playing this weekend can only lose. There are no victories to be had, and only losses of varying degree.

Topics explaining this bold thesis!

  • Oregon playing Colorado, a team they can't beat by enough point to feel good about after a shaky loss to Nebraska
  • The entire SEC West playing games where someone will lose badly and edge closer to total disaster, and another team will kick the aforementioned team into a canyon
  • Amazing Gus Malzahn facts that should horrify even a non-Auburn fan!
  • A vicious hypothetical spin around the SEC coaching carousel that ends with Hugh Freeze at Auburn! We did it, and it didn't even take the introduction of natural disasters or anything like that into the storyline
  • BYU and West Virginia are playing a football game at FedEx Field. Why? Whyyyyyyy?
  • A real inquiry into whether Vanderbilt needs to have a football coach or not
  • USC has already replaced its quarterback, which is a great thing going into a game against Utah on the road. We hope Max Browne transfers, and in the meantime enjoys his stay at USC as irresponsibly as possible.
  • Why Florida is the Atlanta airport of college quarterbacks
  • A despondent preview of the Florida/Tennessee game, so: the usual

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