THE CURIOUS INDEX, 9/19/16

“THEY DON’T KNOW.”

Unlike the Bama/Ole Miss game, the ending of this is kind of inspiring.

LAMAR JACKSON GAVE HIMSELF A BAD GRADE. He gave himself a D for his performance against FSU, both because he was unhappy with his passing in the game, and also because he had to since there was no D on the field with him on Saturday in a 63-20 annihilation of the Seminoles. The Seminoles lost by 43 points this weekend. The Seminoles lost by 43 points this weekend. The Seminoles lost by 43 points this weekend. You can talk about things in the past and that’s fine but nothing will move 43 points off the scoreboard because that definitely happened and is fresh and delicious.

PROBABLY IS A FUN WORD FOR DEFINITELY. Florida QB Luke Del Rio will “probably” miss the Tennessee game after a low hit by a North Texas defender did something grievous and bad to a knee. Because this rivalry only rolls out the good china and fixin’s for guests, we will present graduate transfer from Purdue, Austin Appleby, and aspiring rocket scientist Josh Dobbs. They may not be able to throw into the windows of a Cover 2 properly, but at least they’re super smart about knowing exactly what mistakes they’re making when they try it.

BRIAN KELLY ON A JOURNEY OF SELF-DISCOVERY. He’s been to me, finally, and found a new person to blame after a Notre Dame loss: himself, and also the coaches. Mostly the coaches, but also himself. [eyeballs move left towards coaches] Sure, it starts with him [eyeballs and eyebrows lurch left towards watching coaches] but as a staff they really need to start doing a better job.

[/banner drops from podium reading “IT WAS VAN GORDER’S FAULT”]

Oh, and that Twitter fave was an accident. [EYEBROWS GO CRAZY TRYING TO POINT AS BEST AS EYEBROWS CAN AT BRIAN VAN GORDER]

WHAT’S WRONG WITH OKLAHOMA? Oh, just about everything.

ETC: A Twitter legend passed away this weekend, and you might want to chip in for the funeral and expenses. RIP, Tom.