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JOHN HEISMAN RUNS THE SCORE UP

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BUT LIKE FOR SCIENCE AND PHILOSOPHY REASONS

Richmond v Carlton

Found this during some research this morning and oh ho ho John Heisman would have been an amazing press conference in any age:

“...finding that folks are determined to take the crazy thing into consideration, we at Tech determined this year, at the start of the season, to show folks that it was no very difficult thing to run up a score in one easy game, from which it might perhaps be seen that it could also be done in other easy games as well.”

In other words: “because I can’t convince you that you’re an idiot for thinking point totals matter, we’ll give you massive point totals just to show you how meaningless those point totals really are, not just for us, but for every other team on the planet.” Hi, Cumberland College!

John Heisman wasn’t just ahead of his time in thinking up the backwards snap, pushing for the forward pass, and creating the idea of multiple shifts for a football team over the course of a game. He may have been the first to be completely fed up with sportswriters, and was also the first to be willing to completely decimate hapless other teams (for this reason and other, more private ones) to prove a point on the field. John Heisman invented all that football stuff, sure—but his greatest innovation may have been in the field of Sporting Petty.