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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 4.34: WEEK TWO IS FOR HATIN’

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ARKANSAS IS BIG, FAT, AND MEAN

Tessitore
JOE T WILL RUIN YOUR UNIVERSE

Week Two's review is, like the week itself, far more interesting than advertised, even if it did drive Verne Lundquist to openly ask for distraction during the death throes of the Kentucky/Florida game. (Death throes = anything past the first quarter.)

TOPICS:

  • How Jason just skipped this whole weekend and almost cried when Andre 3000 came out for "Black Ice" at the Dungeon Family reunion show
  • Maybe we discuss Kentucky football too long, but also come up with a fascinating solution to Kentucky's problems with an impending showdown with Alabama? (Don't go, and pass the savings on to your fans!)
  • The thousand ways Louisville quarterback Lamar Jackson is not real right now
  • Ryan finds the saddest scene from Illinois State/Northwestern, which is quite an accomplishment
  • A suggestion for new rivals for Penn State since Pitt is unfit to be their rival despite losing to the Panthers 42-39 this weekend
  • A review of the hilarity of Arkansas football and the brutal and irritating ways they found to antagonize TCU
  • OH WE GET TO TALK ABOUT GEORGIA ALMOST LOSING TO NICHOLLS AND HOW NICK CHUBB DIDN'T HAVE 100 YARDS AGAINST NICHOLLS
  • A detour into the disastrous ending of Washington State/Boise State where no one wanted to win the game
  • A review of the Navy/UConn game, where UConn definitely did not want to win the game, and threw 15 seconds into the trash because time is free, and points are something you can pull out of your pocket after the game and apply retroactively
  • How Tennessee scored 45 points and still looked worrisomely bad on offense against Virginia Tech, aka how we really don't want to see Josh Dobbs get hurt this season
  • Central Michigan shouldn't have won, and did, and if it's Monday we just kicked you in the balls again, Oklahoma State fan
  • Nick Saban, furious after a 38-10 win where Western Kentucky's QB politely decided to "leave the game"

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