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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 4.31: POP THE CHAMPAGNE FOR WEEK ONE

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CHAD KELLY IS CALLING, HE WANTS TO COME OVER WITH FOOTBALL AND PIZZA

Allstate Sugar Bowl - Mississippi v Oklahoma State
CHAD KELLY IS CALLING YOU
Photo by Stacy Revere/Getty Images

WEEK ONE IS HERE. The internet's only college football podcast starts off the 2016 college football season with:

  • a super important conversation about people Spencer does not look like
  • how we love Cal for not mattering, ever
  • why we decide to begin the greatest sport's season every year with South Carolina football, a brand sure to drive horrified new viewers away in droves
  • how Jason once pulled a D in a British Lit class despite going to the wrong classroom and class the entire semester, go Kennesaw State Owls
  • which ranked teams face upsets in week one, even though we don't actually know who's good or not, and thus don't really have too many upsets? (SEE: OLE MISS VS. FLORIDA STATE, or any other ranked v. ranked matchup)
  • Ryan singing "NORTH CAROLINA, BEATING GEORGIA" jauntily, because oh ho ho ho, Georgia losing to UNC to start the season would be a blessing
  • who's going to lose to an FCS team in their opening week besides Iowa State, who's totally losing to UNI
  • more excited discussion about Auburn QB "White, Sean" and how sneaky fast he is
  • the introduction of 2016's hottest college football scoreboard cam gimmick: FIGHT CAM. We just send six cartoonishly costumed prospectors into a sparsely populated part of the stadium to stage-fight one lucky fan selected at random. The whole stadium gets to watch! It'll be delightful.
  • Texas plays Notre Dame, who they should want to beat very badly after last year's 35 point loss to the Irish. It's good to want things, even if they probably won't happen, because dreams start with goals first, and doing later, and maybe another loss to Notre Dame in between.
  • a final conversation about Ole Miss vs. FSU, the game where we see if Chad Kelly can outdo his predecessor Bo Wallace in throwing perfectly matching sets of TDs and INTs.

Listen in the player above, download directly here, or subscribe on iTunes. NOTE: IF YOU DO SUBSCRIBE ON iTUNES, LEAVE A REVIEW OR HIT THE STARS OR TELL US HOW AWFUL WE ARE OR GREAT OR WHATEVER. IT DOESN’T MATTER. JUST DO IT. TELL A FRIEND. OPEN THIS PODCAST ON STRANGER’S LAPTOPS AND JUST LET IT PLAY EVEN IF NO ONE’S LISTENING. FRAUD WAS ALWAYS FUN, BUT IT’S BASICALLY LEGAL NOW. SO DO IT AND HELP MAKE THIS THE MOST LISTENED-TO SEASON OF THE FULLCAST EVER, DESPITE OUR VOWS TO NEVER REALLY MAKE THIS ANY MORE LISTENER-FRIENDLY THAN IT IS NOW. WHICH IS NOT FRIENDLY AT ALL, AND SOMETIMES OUTRIGHT HOSTILE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT. NOW GO AND DO ALL THOSE GREAT IDEAS WE TOLD YOU TO DO.