WASHINGTON STATE IS GONNA DRINK SOME BEERS

If you find yourself in Pullman, Washington this fall, you will surely fall into one of several categories. You're there for a Washington State game, sure, but maybe you've been kiting checks all over the Midwest and need to get off the radar for a while. Maybe you're in the early stages of a super hero origin story and you've lost your family in some unbearable tragedy, but you're still riding a dirt bike around the West and haven't figured out that you have powers yet.

You could be in Pullman for any variety of reasons, but starting this fall, if you enter a Washington State football game, you'll be able to buy a beer.

The drinking prowess of Washington State fans is beyond question at this point. Wazzu fans are the insatiable, half-feral drinkers that you and your friends all loudly claim to be, but they don't feel the need to brag about it nearly as often.

The beer sales does come with the qualification that beer won't be sold in the student section, which, haaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa. If the bright young minds in that stadium want a beer, they will find a way. Also, they may be too close for beer and just switch to any variety of brown liquor that can consumed somewhat more discreetly. Or, maybe less discreetly.

There doesn't seem to be as much pearl-clutching about alcohol sales at college games anymore. I think most people realize that being able to get a couple beers during the game won't actually make loud and visible binge drinking any worse, but may actually help the situation since people may not feel so rushed to get mashed since they'll be able to keep drinking inside the stadium. Do you need to drink to get through a football game? No, I suppose not. But when you've seen as much on-field horror as Washington State fans, dulling the senses is probably still a good idea, even if the team is actually competent at football now. There's nothing wrong with being prepared for sports sadness. (Go Bills)

The season is getting close. You're ready for this, Wazzu. Don't overextend yourselves. Trust in your training. You've got this. We all believe in you.