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BROWN BEAR, BROWN BEAR, WHAT DO YOU SEE?

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A CHILDREN'S BOOK FOR MY CHILD TO UNDERSTAND MY WORLD THROUGH

Honey, I'll put the kids to bed tonight, you can watch gymnastics. Okay, who wants a story?

[clears throat]

Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?

BROWN BEAR: I see a Red Bird looking at me.

Red Bird, Red Bird, what do you see?

RED BIRD: I see a Yellow Duck looking at me.

Yellow Duck, Yellow Duck, what do you see?

YELLOW DUCK: I see a Blue Horse looking at me.

Blue Horse, Blue Horse, what do you see?

BLUE HORSE: I see a Green Frog looking at me.

GREEN FROG: I'm supposed to be purple.

ME: Tough we're doing a thing here, what do you see

GREEN FROG: [sighs blood] I see a Purple Cat looking at me.

Purple Cat, Purple Cat, what do you see?

PURPLE CAT: I see a White Dog looking at me. On that crisp, cool morning, the air was electric with possibility as the majestic canine strode across the field of-

ME: ahhh tut tut tut reel it in pal

PURPLE CAT: [grumbling] White Dog, White Dog, what do you see?

WHITE DOG: [breathing heavily] I see a Black Sheep looking at me.

Black Sheep, Black Sheep, what do you see?

BLACK SHEEP: I see a Gold Flash looking at me.

Gold Flash, Gold Flash, what do you see?

KENT STATE GOLDEN FISH: This is offensive, this isn't even close to what I'm supposed to be

ME: There really wasn't anything appropriate here you should be happy to be included

KENT FISH: well I'm not

ME: No one is, we have to move on. What do you see?

KENTFISH: I see some bald dude looking at me?

Finebaum, Finebaum, what do you see?

PAUL FINEBAUM: I see my callers looking at me.

Callers, callers, what do you see?

FINEBAUM CALLERS:

KIDS [visibly disturbed]: Next time can mom just read us Llama Llama Red Pajama?