The scene: a bustling complex of football fields, late morning on an idyllic sun-dappled summer day. A large collection of the nation's very best high school football players are out here to put on a show with the eyes of the college football world watching. The fields are surrounded by the vibrating buzz of recruiting media, with each outlet trying to outdo the others for the very best in fresh content. But this year, a new outlet enters the fray.
[A 7 on 7 game ends, and the players begin leaving the field]
JIMMY: "Cayden! Cayden! Wait up! Hey dude, my name's Jimmy from FUTUREDUDES.COM, the hottest new recruiting service on the internet, mind if we ask you a couple questions real quick?"
CAYDEN: "Sure, go ahead."
JIMMY: "Thanks dude. You were really spinning it pretty good out there. Do you think that's a testament to the practice reps you put in every day, and also, do you sometimes find that you get a little tired of the overly-simplistic narrative that alliances made World War I much worse than it could have, or should have been?"
CAYDEN: "Uhhhhhhh, well... [shifts weight awkwardly for a couple seconds] I mean, my teammates and I just try to go out there and grind anytime we set foot on a field, and that's no different today. As for the second part, I don't know."
JIMMY: "Cool, cool. You've been getting a lot more interest from some bigger schools lately. Do you think the Great War was the death knell for the classical version of imperialism, and as a follow up, do you consider the modern world we live in today is substantially similar, but in a far more insidious way?"
CAYDEN: "Look, we have another game in a minute, I gotta get back to my team and get ready."
JIMMY: "No problem, can you just take a quick snap on my phone and say "FUTURE DUDES!" really enthusiastically? ... I'll take you walking away as a no, then. Alright, alright, FUTURE DUDES are out here and we won't be deterred. Oh man, JAYDEN! JAYDEN! Dude! Got a minute to talk with FUTUREDUDES.COM?"
[Five-star safety stops to talk, looking slightly annoyed]
JAYDEN: "Yeah, what's up man?"
JIMMY: "Looking a little upset right now, what's going on?"
JAYDEN: "Just took an L out there a minute ago and I'm pissed. I'm a competitor."
JIMMY: "That's what everyone says about you, and it really shows. Hey, do you think the Russian army could've used some of your competitiveness at the first Battle of the Masurian Lakes?"
JAYDEN: "The what?"
JIMMY: "C'mon man, you know, Masurian Lakes? The Eastern Front in World War I?"
JAYDEN: "I gotta go man."
JIMMY: "Alright Jimmy, stay cool, not every interview is going to be a winner, you just need to stay out here and grind until we have enough content to last us through the weekend. Oh man, look, it's Brayden! BRAYDEN! Hold up, dude!"
[runs awkwardly towards four-star defensive end on one knee, clearly preemptively irritated]
JIMMY: "Hey man, Jimmy from FUTUREDUDES.COM, mind if I ask a few questions?"
BRAYDEN: "I'm sorry, future dudes? What is that?"
JIMMY: "The hottest new recruiting resource on the web, man! We're here live and ripping it up!"
BRAYDEN: "Your site's name is future dudes? That's the best idea you had?"
JIMMY: "People love it!"
BRAYDEN: "Seems pretty lame to me. Hey man, I have a question for you, actually."
JIMMY: "OHHHH THE TABLES ARE TURNING! LOVE IT! [turns face back to facebook livestream that's been going this whole time] LOOOOOOVE IIIIIIIIIIT!"
BRAYDEN: "Why the hell do you keep asking questions about World War I? I mean, we're high school football players, and everyone here is talking about football and where we're going for college. I get trying to ask funny and off-beat questions and that's cool, but this seems not so much funny but just weird as hell."
JIMMY: "Boy, this is turning into a real Gallipoli."
BRAYDEN: "No it isn't."
JIMMY: "Looks like we're Verdun here."
BRAYDEN: "Please stop."
JIMMY: "Somme-body can't take a joke."
BRAYDEN: "I gotta go."