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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 4.23: A CELEBRATION OF THE BIELEMA-BASED CALENDAR

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NOVEMBERT IS THE MOST POWERFUL -BERT OF THE YEAR

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Jason joined us from Indiana to record this one from inside what sounds like a steamer trunk filled with spiders. We will never, ever let Jason do this again, or we will put him back inside a very real steamer trunk filled with spiders.

The teams previewed this week are:

  • Mississippi State! Goddammit, Dan Mullen, you gigantic idiot. That and "Dak Prescott is gone" are your whole preview, basically.
  • LSU! Where Jason, from inside that spider-filled steamer trunk in Buttsville, Indiana, tries to sell us all on Brandon Harris being more than the typical LSU Quarterback Of The Moderately Damnable Quality.
  • Arkansas! We mostly debate the various calendar-themed types of Arkansas teams Bret Bielema has created over the years: the SeptemBERT variety, the OctoBERT one, or the rarest and most potent of them all, the NovemBERT strain that still goes like 2-2, but does so with a powerful, entertaining vigor. Please don't firebomb our houses for discussing your football team, Arkansas fans.
  • Penn State! Now with 100% less Christian Hackenberg, which might be a good thing? Oh, and they turned over their whole coaching staff, basically, so...JAMES FRANKLIN RECRUITING SOMETHING SOMETHING
  • Duke, which we don't really preview because honestly we know nothing about them, will do no research, and are very glad David Cutcliffe will probably get them somewhere between 5-7 and 7-5 and better than Duke football should by any rights be.

Listen in the embedded player below, subscribe on iTunes, or download directly here. We promise to get Jason out of that steamer trunk soon.