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LET'S OVERREACT TO ALABAMA'S NCAA VIOLATIONS

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HOW TO: MAKE CRIMSON MOUNTAINS OUT OF MOLEHILLS

Marvin Gentry-USA TODAY Sports

Some people insist that the internet's constantly locked in outrage mode, moving from one overblown controversy to another without any sense of perspective. Personally, I don't think that's a bad thing. Your indignation muscles are just like any other; they need regular exercise if you want them to perform well when it counts.

In fact, I'd say it takes more skill and effort to get worked up about nothing! Take Alabama's recently self-reported NCAA violations. A reasonable person looks at these and dismisses them as minor. That's boring as hell. Stretch a little bit and let's work together to take low-level violations and make them seem unconscionable.

"Coach sent a text message to a prospect."

Angle: IS BAMA ENCOURAGING RECRUITS TO CHECK THEIR PHONES DURING FAMILY DINNERS AND/OR CHURCH SERVICES?

"Coach called a prospect a second time during a week."

Angle: WHEN YOU CAN'T REACH YOUR LOVED ONES DURING A NATURAL DISASTER THANKS TO OVERLOADED CELL TOWERS, BLAME RULE-BREAKING ALABAMA FOOTBALL

"Former student-athlete provided personal training to current student athletes free of charge."

Angle: THE NFL-TUSCALOOSA PED PIPELINE AUTHORITIES ARE TOO COWARDLY TO EXPOSE, IF IT EXISTS AND HOW CAN WE SAY IT DOESN'T UNTIL THEY STOP COVERING UP FOR THE TIDE

"A trophy was temporarily placed in an area where prospects taking an official visit would be, which resulted in an impermissible recruiting decoration of that area."

Angle: IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT NICK SABAN'S A CHEATER, BUT NOW IT TURNS OUT HIS SENSE FOR DECOR WOULD MAKE THE CLEARANCE SECTION AT TJ MAXX LOOK LIKE MARTHA STEWART LIVING