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SHUTDOWN FULLCAST 4.24: SQUIRTLE WINS

MICHIGAN STATE, LOUISVILLE, TCU, NC STATE, AND GEORGIA ALL RECEIVE EQUALLY GLIB TREATMENT FROM THE FULLCAST THIS WEEK

By Spencer Hall

WE BACK. The summer preview quite literally rolls on, at least in Jason's case, since he recorded his portion in the car this week in transit to SEC Media Days. Does Jason, recording in his car on a phone over the ineptly paved and uneven highways of Alabama, still sound better than recording over Indiana internet? Yes, yes it does. You're better than Indiana at something, Alabama! STICK THAT CHEST OUT AND ROLL TIDE.

This one is...actually good? Actually GREAT. The teams this week are:

  • MICHIGAN STATE! A team that somehow feels like they'll be fine by scoring fewer points, playing uglier football, and losing a quarterback whose personality was considered cancerous even by NFL quarterback standards. Then again: when has an experienced backup upperclassman being considered a given at QB ever gone wrong, we ask, when, when in the entire history of say, Florida football has that ever gone wro--
  • NC STATE! They're definitely a football team? They have a pretty good defense? They'll play sort of ineffective offense, but do it quickly? They're in the ACC, and not named Florida State or Clemson, so [bucket of shrug emojis]?
  • GEORGIA! A preview where we definitely do not say that Kirby Smart is Will Muschamp part 2, and where Jason yells out "ALL DAWGS MATTER" after suggesting you can get an undergraduate degree in conservative talk radio at the University of Georgia. Remember when Grayson Lambert went 24 for 25 against South Carolina, and was going to win the Heisman, and then five months later Mark Richt was coaching Miami? We do.
  • LOUISVILLE! Summary: Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson Lamar Jackson
  • TCU! Where when you play Pokemon Go, you find Gary Patterson and you find a Squirtle. We all agree that they're going to go 11-1, which is nothing but doom for TCU. SQUIRTLE WINS.

Listen in the embedded player below, subscribe and leave a scathing review on iTunes, or download directly here. Our favorite review is still the dude who says we sound like Southerners who left the south, immediately after listening to two out of three of us record from the Atlanta, Georgia area. The ones with the accents. YOU FIGURE IT ALL OUT, INTERNET, YOU TAKE YOUR TIME AND FIGURE IT OUT.