Deep down in their wooden souls, football coaches just want to be left alone to coach football and ignore every element of pop culture for a couple decades. It's worn into their DNA, and they put up with stuff like recruiting and boosters because they have to. Something else they probably have to grit their teeth to get through is awkward promotional appearances with apparel sponsors. On Wednesday, it was Tommy Tuberville's turn.
Cincinnati's spandex overlords, Under Armour, apparently decreed that they needed Tubs in Baltimore to celebrate Armour Day, which is apparently a UA employee bonding event. Well, apparently they needed Tommy Tuberville there to really get the party on and poppin'. And, uhh, Roger Clemens too. And, uhhhh:
[Tuberville and Ray Lewis standing there, talking about, IDK football probably, as Nelly walks up]
"TELL ME WHERE MURPHY LEE IS BURIED, YOU MONSTER!"
[Both Nelly and Ray Lewis pretend they have no idea what he's talking about]
"Wow, my wife always said the contractor brother on Property Brothers had a wild side, but I had no idea!"
"Coach, if things ever go sideways for you at Cincinnati, you could always crawl out a restaurant bathroom window and take the Louisiana Tech job."
And after a long day of commiserating with his new friends, Tommy knew it was time to kick back and relax with some of his all-time favorite songs. First, something to move your ass a little.
And then a little something for your wild side.
Deep down, Tubs knows "Cowboy" was really written about him, and he still visualizes blocking Florida field goals anytime he hears it.