In what was easily the most important NFL news yesterday, Andrew Luck announced the launch of his personal book club, which will recommend two books every month, one for young readers and one for adults. It's a very Andrew Luck thing to do, but there's no reason why college football coaches can't capitalize on the same opportunities. We've helped them get started with these personalized book clubs, carefully tailored to each coach's personal interests.
Bobby Petrino: Every month, you'll get personally selected erotica hidden under various Chicken Soup for the ___ Soul covers. You'll never be judged on an airplane again!
Mark Richt: Ten months, you get really fantastic books you thoroughly enjoy. The other two months he sends you complete shit. (Some years this ratio is seven and five, but he knows it'll be a while before you drop your subscription.)
Gary Patterson: A new wildlife coffee table book delivered to you monthly with every single photo of a bear scratched out in purple marker.
Clay Helton: Mostly books by authors you've never heard of who'll be dropped from their publishing houses in two to three years. P.S. Clay Helton is the head coach at USC.
Tom Herman: Delivering high-quality literature from Houston, or at least somewhere within 170 miles of Houston come 2017.
Les Miles: Club members in Florida receive books that are glued shut. Club members in Alabama are accidentally sent copies of the LSU offensive playbook. Club members in Louisiana receive pamphlets detailing Sean Payton's failures.
Will Muschamp: Earn points with each purchase of a book from the Will Muschamp Book Club. Points come in values of three (3) and we're sorry only three (3) at a time.
Jim Harbaugh: Hardcover classics only, both because they are the foundation of literature and because he will show up at your house and make you deadlift them.
Bill Snyder: Book club discontinued, but you can find the archives here.
Hugh Freeze: wait this book is hollowed out and filled with OH okay okay okay
Dana Holgorsen: Misunderstood the concept, so he just mails you proposed bets on European basketball games and cricket.
Gus Malzahn: Specializing in Steven King and other authors whose works start brilliantly and lose steam toward the end.
Mark Helfrich: You'll enjoy the first few months, when Helfrich sends you some great choices Chip Kelly left behind. Then he has to start choosing books on his own and shit um do people still read John Grisham is that ok shit shit shit
Paul Johnson: Fuck you, books.
Charlie Strong: A mix of self-help books about managing expectations and treatises arguing that today's problems were caused by mistakes made in the George W. Bush administration.
Kevin Sumlin: $4,000 a month for somewhere between eight and five books a year. (Delivery not guaranteed.)