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AN OPEN LETTER TO SEAN MILLER

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FROM YOUR SIMILARLY SWEATY BRETHREN

Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Dear Sean,

We know what it's like to be preternaturally sweaty, going through life sleeping on top of the covers and asking if we can just put on the A/C in the car for a bit even though it's 73 outside. We, too, have relished going to the movie theater in a t-shirt, knowing it means a few hours where back sweat will not win. Weddings have left us wondering how much water weight a suit jacket can hold. This is not a place where you will be gland-shamed. But, buddy.

That's ABSURD. If you know you are prone to this levei of perspiration, you can't just decide to get frisky and not wear an undershirt. "But one layer fewer will help me stay cool!" Sean, it obviously didn't, and now we're a camera operator's whim away from learning entirely too much about your nipples. Your miscalculation was thinking you could avoid being a sweaty-ass mess. The reality is you just have to manage it. Here, look at Bruce Pearl.

I guarantee you his bare torso looks like a honeybaked ham, but Bruce is dealing with the situation by keeping the suit jacket on. That's not the most comfortable choice, but it's a calculated one. Alternatively, start prowling the sideline with a towel slung over your shoulder. Only wear black dress shirts. None of these are going to win you plaudits from the fashion world. If we're being honest, we both abandoned that goal a long time ago.

We sure did, Sean. We sure as hell did.