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FINDING THE NEXT STEP IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL ENDOWMENTS

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NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERV

Ezra Shaw/Getty Images

It's nice that Stanford does this to honor former players and, yes, you're probably going to be talking about the Christian McCaffrey Running Backs Coach this time next year. Sure, it's a little strange that a third party is paying to put someone else's name on a coaching job. But you get what they're going for.

That said, this is college football. Nice and kind isn't the order of the day. If you're going to throw your money at an endowment, why not twist the knife while you're at it? Let's see the Angry Iowa Fans Senior Professor of Music Theory, or the Pete Carroll Director of Interuniversity Dealings. This doesn't just have to be a Stanford thing, either. With the right amount of money, we could see:

- Notre Dame's Brady Hoke Defensive Coordinator

- Miami's ACC Officiating Crew Video Coordinator

- Ohio State's Glenn Sharpe Assistant for Rules & Regulations

- USF's Dayne Crist Non-Conference Scheduling Director

- TCU's Don Pellum Budget Deficit Supervisor

- Michigan's NFL Media Members Human Resources Director

- Iowa State's Quinn Sharp Special Teams Coordinator

- Arizona State's Lane Kiffin Travel Coordinator

- Bowling Green's Randy Edsall Head Career Advisor

- Wake Forest's Frank Beamer Scoreboard Operator

- Virginia Tech's Scot Loeffler Chief Officer of Networking

- Alabama's John Brantley Chair for Trauma and ER Medicine

- Florida's Peyton Manning Defensive Backs Coach

- The Auburn Dan Mullen Director of Alumni Contributions

- The Bo Wallace Mississippi State Director of Charitable Giving

- Oregon's Jameis Winston Turfgrass Specialist

- Georgia Southern's Will Muschamp Lead Researcher for Swamp Draining