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HOW WILL FLORIDA VOTE TODAY

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A BREAKDOWN OF CANDIDATE SUPPORT BY TEAM AFFILIATION

Angel Valentin/Getty Images

Today, Florida voters go to the polls to vote in the primaries. It would be easy to assume different fan bases will vote as large blocs - FSU fans, for instance, can sympathize with Donald Trump as the frontrunner so many people viscerally hate and want to see fall on his face - but we're talking about large, diverse groups, with different political interests and motivations. In fact, most schools split between several candidates, making it hard to predict how the college football vote will swing in the Sunshine State.

But the analysts here at EDSBS Data Services have found a few discrete groups each candidate needs to get to the polls today if they want to win.

HILLARY CLINTON wins with:
- Mark Richt supporters at Miami who think it's unfair to judge someone just on how their last job went
- Florida fans who point out that she won in Tennessee and Georgia and that's good enough for now
- George O'Leary, who will never forget how she didn't tell the cops he killed Vince Foster
- Florida State fans who'd like to go wide left just to shake things up for a change

BERNIE SANDERS wins with:
- FSU fans who have only been paying attention to 2017 recruiting and assume this is Deion running under his middle name
- Miami fans who also think the concept of an "indoor voice" is bullshit
- USF fans because wait you can just DECIDE to be part of a major party when you were on the outside before uh hello Big 12 we're part of you now

DONALD TRUMP wins with:
- Florida fans who insist a return to greatness is imminent without addressing any underlying problems with the program
- FSU fans who think Jimbo's hair is 100% natural
- Miami fans who insist a return to greatness is imminent without addressing any underlying problems with the program but are fine with just punching someone if it doesn't work out
- UCF fans. Just, like, all UCF fans.

TED CRUZ wins with:
- Miami fans who demand that the government take action against Islamic terrorist group Al-Golden
- FSU fans still confused about how to pick a winning team in March
- FIU fans who oppose excessive regulation and believe small businesses like the Sugar Bowl should not have to choose whoever the Playoff Committee picks, or even choose a bowl eligible team at all, and hey wouldn't you know it here's a grocery bag full of twenties I'll just leave that in the corner

MARCO RUBIO wins with:
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JOHN KASICH wins with:
- Florida fans who agree that the only way forward is to win back Urban Meyer's love
- Miami fans who aren't wearing their glasses and think he's Butch Davis 
- FSU fans who aren't wearing their glasses and think he's Chris Weinke