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WHAT IS THIS: THE 1973 COTTON BOWL PROGRAM

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NO FOR REAL WHAT

1. It's fun to imagine Bear Bryant as a man with the superpower to shapeshift his body into a massive red tidal wave at will but his head remains exactly the same. He also wears a hat the ability to become a destructive force of nature isn't license to look like a danged hippie.

2. Bevo's horns are horrifying long. Bevo's tail looks pretty weird, too. And, good god, Bevo's hooves might as well be garden shears. I think this cartoonist started to draw the Devil and then realized he was supposed to be delivering an anthropomorphized Texas mascot.

3. Darrell, stop looking at us and focus on the matter at hand. Darrell, yes, your hair looks great. We appreciate what you're trying to do to save the - well, I guess the Cotton Bowl crowd? - but the problem here is not so much the leak, Darrell. If you look up, you'll notice Bear Poseidant is about to come roaring over the top of the wall. Darrell, you should run now.

4. Don't take Devil Bevo with you. Let the red seas wash away his existence, which is a blight upon this Earth.

5. Oh, and Darrell? This wouldn't have happened had you been wearing a hat.