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WHY THIS INNOCENT BAMA FAN AIN'T ROBBED A SINGLE BANK

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DON'T BELIEVE THE CONVENIENT MEDIA LIES

1. Ain't a bagman from Bama yet who been caught.

2. Why would Bama need money in Georgia? Not like that state's keeping their recruits for anything.

3. Clearly a plant because Bama fans don't trust the banks. McCulloch only won because he scheduled weak-ass Maryland.

4. Getting caught from behind on a run? That's Auburn as hell.

5. Kerry Douglas McGraw has every letter for "WAR EAGLE" except the last E. That's intentional, because this whole shameful thing is being funded from Europe. You need more proof?

And what's Germany's coat of arms look like?

A damn eagle. Y'all wanna root for Germany instead of the Tide, that's your business.

6. This is a two-crime arrest. Bama fans only mess around with four and five star wanted levels. #theprocess

7. Didn't get a carton of Marlboros on the way out. Which also means he can't be an undercover Tennessee fan, I guess.