REMEMBERING THE 'NAPA KNOW HOW' GUY

Some commercials stick with us long past their use-by date. Where's The Beef. WHAZZZAAAAAAAP. The unbelievably creepy dude in the Kay Jewelers commercial that says "YOU WILL" when his bride-to-be wonders aloud why she doesn't remember the final place they stop at during a tour of their personal romantic places.

You may have blocked it out and moved on with your life by now, but somewhere deep in the folds of your brain, the Napa Know How guy is still singing and recommending new spark plugs for your soul.

This man's name is Matthew Allmen. He was not the first man to be the face of the great Napa Know How threat of the early 2010s, but he had the most visible IMDB page so that'll work for now. The original star of this commercial remains at large.

Anyway.

If you've been around this site for long enough, you know that some bizarre things work their way into canon deep into the comment threads. Universal dread at the mere mention of the Napa Know How commercial was one of those things, brought on by the relentless playing of this commercial during football season.

This topic came to me, appropriately enough, while I was driving. Once I got home and was able to zero in on Allman's IMDB page, I knew it was meant to be.

Matt was born in Cleveland, Ohio, but moved to Clearwater, Florida at a young age and lived there until he graduated high school. From there he went to Florida State University for 7, thats right, seven glorious years. During his senior year at FSU Matt joined the FSU Flying High Circus. This is were Matt instantly fell in love with performing. Matt loved the circus at FSU so much he enrolled, and was accepted to, grad school with the sole intent of extending his collegiate circus career. While in Flying High Matt performed several acts including Rolla Bolla, Quartette, Russian Bar, Juggling, Aerial Cradle (two lane), and was a trapeze catcher. He also rigged and coached fellow students. And, as luck would have it, after 4 years in the circus he also managed to graduate with a Masters Degree in Geography.

Even IMDB is talkin' bout the Noles, brother. His bio continues, but we have what we need. "Russian Bar" sounds like a nickname for a personal foul Miami perfected in the late 80s, and "Rolla Bolla" is more than likely the ensuing hangover that occurs after you lose on the road at Missouri. These aren't peer reviewed conclusions, mind you, but I'm just trying to understand.

Appropriately enough, his filmography is roughly 80% stuntmen parts. His credits include Jonah Hex, CSIs Miami and New York, Chuck, Bones, and Transformers: Age of Extinction. I don't know how the stuntman world works, but this sounds pretty damn decorated if you ask me. These Napa commercials earned our scorn for what they did to our eardrums and psyches, but this man was just out there earning a living, and he earned the hell out of it. You simply can't keep a good circus man down. Go Noles.