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ALABAMA MAN GETS SON OUT OF HOUSE

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PLANS TO TURN SON’S ROOM INTO MODEL TRAIN VENUE

One man in Alabama has received an early Christmas gift: his son, finally moving out of the house.

Nick Saban, a Tuscaloosa multi-level marketer, found out late last Sunday night that his adult son, Lane, had received a job offer from a company in Florida.

Alabama father had no comment on the holes in the drywall he was gonna have to patch, dammit

“I didn’t believe it when he told me, because it’s been so long, and he’s had so many ‘offers’,” said Saban, making quote marks with his hands. “He was supposed to go to Oregon, to Louisiana, I dunno...lot of places.”

The three years were a difficult time for both father and son, according to Saban. The two disagreed almost constantly about many topics, and often yelled at each other when they did. Among other disagreements, Saban believed his son spent too much time on social media, and “other distractions from his responsibilities to this team.”

Saban downplayed neighbors who said the two had a contentious relationship, though.

“He has his own way of doing things. But I’m proud, and we got to spend some quality time together. He had a real rough patch there.”

The proud father said he hoped his son had learned during his time at home.

“It was important to me that he learn to live on his own," said Saban. "Though he will stay on our cell phone plan. That boy burns through data like you wouldn't believe."

Lane, 41, plans to leave sometime this week. He promised to return for his belongings “sometime in the next month or so, or something like that.”

He was excited about the opportunity, and also “about having a boat.”