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THE TWO MILLION DOLLAR MEN - WEEK 7

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GO WEST

The Mississippi schools lost, yes, but everyone else in the SEC West who played held serve, so we’re going to switch it up this week and go to (spins wheel) the Pac-12 South!

The salary floor in this division as of last year: Mike MacIntyre at Colorado, who was making a hair over two million in 2015. You may recall that Colorado is currently tied atop the South with Utah...who has the second-lowest head coach salary outlay. Money! It only goes to people who definitely deserve it.

RICH RODRIGUEZ

Why RichRod shouldn’t get fired: Injuries forced the Wildcats to go to their third starting QB this year against USC, true freshman Khalil Tate. “Wait, but Ohio State won a national ch-” Stop it. No. Anu Solomon made some good strides last year, and having him out since Week 2 seriously lowered the ceiling on Arizona.

Why RichRod should get fired: Jeff Casteel got canned last season because his defense ranked in the 100s in yards per play allowed, rushing and passing touchdowns allowed, 3rd down percentage, 30+ yard plays given up — it’s a very long list but in summation “they were butt.” This year, every conference opponent Arizona’s played has scored at least 35 points and gained at least 450 yards. Combine that with the injuries and, yes, this team is Butt/Hurt.

Firing chances: 0.4

TODD GRAHAM

Why Todd shouldn’t get fired: Arizona State’s 5-2, has a non-conference win against a Power 5 team, and hasn’t lost at home.

Why Todd should get fired: Hooboy, Colorado HAMMERED the Sun Devils. Half of ASU’s drives resulted in a three-and-out, and Philli Lindsay outgained them by sixty yards on his own. Even in good years, Todd Graham’s team is always up for at least one brutal stomping, and both losses this season have been by three scores. What’s that? They still get to play Wazzu and Washington? Splendid!

Firing chances: 0.2

MIKE MACINTYRE

Why Mike shouldn’t get fired: Dude’s one victory away from taking the Buffs to their first bowl game since 2007. Colorado crushed their in-state rival, played Michigan and USC close, beat Oregon on the road, and ^ that Arizona State bloodletting.

Why Mike should get fired: It would take an astonishing collapse on the field and possibly something disconcerting off the field for this to happen.

Firing chances: 0.0

JIM MORA

Why Mora shouldn’t get fired: Even if UCLA drops their last five games, Mora will have a better winning percentage than the last three head coaches who preceded him. Please don’t think the fact that the Bruins have been making the occasional appearance in the top 10 means they’re entitled to have a competent coach. Recent history proves otherwise.

Why Mora should get fired: He’s totally going to waste Josh Rosen’s college career. Best case scenario, Rosen doesn’t suffer so many injuries that it ruins his pro prospects as well. You could give Jim Mora a Taco Bell in a college town and he’d somehow barely turn a profit.

Firing chances: 0.3

CLAY HELTON

Why Helton shouldn’t get fired: After a very rough start to 2016, Helton pulled USC out of the tailspin and ripped off three wins in a row. They’d need a little help, but a spot in the Pac-12 Championship Game isn’t off the table by any means.

Why Helton should get fired: Let’s play a quick game - which one of these men is Clay Helton?

A.

B.

The answer is at the end of this post!

Firing chances: 0.2

KYLE WHITTINGHAM

Why Kyle shouldn’t get fired: For the third season in a row, Utah started unranked and has climbed into the top 20. The Utes control their own destiny in the division and face their toughest remaining opponent (Washington) at home.

Why Kyle should get fired: This is still real.

Firing chances: 0.1

TOTAL NUMBER OF PAC-12 SOUTH COACHES DUE TO BE FIRED: Only 1.2, though I’m probably giving USC way too much credit for being rational and calm.

(Both photos are of real estate agents, not Clay Helton. But you had no clue!)