YOUR NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP VIEWING OPTIONS

ESPN cares so much about you, the viewer, getting the national championship experience you want that they've continued to expand their Megacast options. There's the standard broadcast on ESPN with Fowler and Herbstreit, Paul Finebaum and Bret Bielema taking phone calls on SEC Network, and the "Sounds of the Game" broadcast on ESPN Classic, which features only game action audio and no announcing crew.

But the options aren't limited to the ESPN family of networks. Disney's opening up nearly all its channels to alternative championship presentations:

ABC: THE HATCHELOR

A camera crew follows Dana Holgorsen as he pilots a decommissioned nuclear submarine up and down the Eastern seaboard. He's got the game on in the background but he spends the vast majority of the broadcast making watery margaritas and acting out his favorite scenes from Road House.

HISTORY: A GREAT DEPRESSION CHAMPIONSHIP SPECIAL

This broadcast reunites Lou Holtz and Mark May, who spend most of the game arguing over monetary policy (May favors a return to the gold standard; Holtz believes human blood is the only currency of lasting value), the constitutionality of gun control (May thinks the founders would have supported registration of firearms but not background checks; Holtz argues swords should be mandatory for children), and the targeting rule (May thinks it's softening the game too much; Holtz fights on the phone with a robocaller).

FUSION: P.J. FLECK DOES CROSSFIT WITH A SEA LION

P.J. Fleck does CrossFit with a sea lion.

CRIME & INVESTIGATION: SECRETS OF THE COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF COMMITTEE

Host and Playoff Committee member Ty Willingham struggles to remember where he put the leftover half of a turkey sub he was saving for dinner. After an hour of opening and closing the same cabinet, Barry Alvarez reveals he stole the sandwich and declared himself interim diner.

DISNEY XD: AUBURN-FRIENDLY BROADCAST

This confusingly recut version of The Jungle Book ends with Shere Khan convincing Mowgli to commit to Auburn, where he becomes an All-American defensive back and wins the Iron Bowl with a pick six. (Baloo is revealed to be an Alabama fan and dies penniless in a Wal-Mart parking lot.)

A&E: DUCK DYNASTY CHAMPIONSHIP SPECIAL

An exhaustive review of Oregon's national titles.

LIFETIME: MY SILENT LOVER

Made-for-TV movie starring Heather Locklear as a college athletics administrator who falls in love with a handsome stranger only to find he has a dark, terrifying past.