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THE CURIOUS INDEX HAS A HEADACHE

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PLEASE KEEP THE VOLUME AT A RESPECTABLE LEVEL WHILE WE TALK ABOUT THE TIDE.

Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

FINALLY, THE UNDERDOG SEES SOME SUCCESS. Yes, of course I'm talking about Alabama, who slowly choked the life out of Michigan State in the Cotton Bowl, 38-0. Sparty played tough for most of the first half, but the second half was like watching a boa constrictor slowly tighten its coils on its prey.

But that's not the real story of this game. The real story is Nick Saban attempting to move his body in a somewhat rhythmic fashion while baring his teeth in a friendly manner. Most people call this "dancing" and "smiling", but we have yet to witness this specimen produce these phenomenons concurrently.

Bama will face Clemson in the title game after the Tigers waxed Oklahoma 37-17. Clemson just whipped OU down the stretch, and it's got people feeling hopeful that the title game won't be another grim coronation for Alabama. Or maybe it will be, I don't know.

The Big Ten refs in this game were horrendous even by Big Ten standards, but this is a gentle reminder that this is not a contest and that every conference's refs are really bad at their jobs.

All in all, the Playoff semis being on New Years Eve was pretty weird.

THIS ONE'S FOR SWISHA HOUSE. Houston thumped Florida State 38-24 in the Peach Bowl. This game had Tom Herman dropping Drake quotes in the post-game press conference, and Jimbo getting real mad at his otherwise incredible kicker for pooching a kickoff. That's a shame.

ETC. Enjoy your hangovers and bowl games today. I can already check one of those two off the list.