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TEXAS GOT ITSELF A HYDRA. Before, if you wanted to find and berate Texas's offensive coordinator, you had to choose between two candidates and hope the coin flip went your way. But now the odds are really against you, because Charlie Strong found himself a third. By season's end, the Longhorns are gonna Thomas Crown Affair the Baylor game and knock the Bears out of the playoff.

BIAS BIAS EVERYWHERE. AP and Coaches Rankings are out and oooooooweeee that's a lot of SEC teams. It's not all 14, however, and for that I am willing to declare Greg Sankey's tenure as conference commissioner a complete failure. A true SEC salesman would've built up WKU so much in the preseason that Vanderbilt's close loss was interpreted as a moment of strength for the Commodores.

NEVER HEARD OF THEM. Godfrey spent the weekend with Georgia Southern, who suffered their worst defeat in their (brief) FBS history at the hands of West Virginia. They weren't there for a payday though; the Eagles had every intention of winning. Perhaps someone in the comments will be so kind as to dredge up a long-forgotten instance of this team beating a Power 5 opponent. On the road. Gosh, wouldn't that be new and helpful.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS AND I DON'T ACCEPT IT. Eric Striker thinks because he plays for Oklahoma he can say whatever he wants and nobody will take issue with it, but I refuse to be silent: where in the hell did we get the phrase "blow gas up their ass?" Is this some dentistry kink? Never mind, don't tell me. Gross.

R.I.P. TYLER SASH. The former strong safety/game rearranger at Iowa was found dead over Labor Day weekend at the age of 27, and Black Heart Gold Pants remembers Sash's college career and giving spirit while we wonder what the hell happened. Death at a young age is always tragic, but as someone who's eased into his thirties already, I can tell you it changes from a scary look at what could be your personal future into pure heartbreak when you realize that could've been your sibling, or younger cousin, or fresh-faced coworker. Our thoughts are with Sash's family and former teammates.