clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

DON'T MAKE FUN OF LOUISVILLE FOR BEING BRAVE

New, 1061 comments

MAKE FUN OF THEM FOR BEING TACKY INSTEAD

Jamie Rhodes-USA TODAY Sports

After a 20-17 loss to Clemson football,  Louisville football is now 0-3 for the 2015 season, and good for them for it. Louisville, unlike your team, most likely, scheduled actual football teams to start their season, accepted challenges from Auburn, an improving Houston team, and Clemson. With a young-ish team and new starters all over the place they lost all three games, sure, but that can happen when you decide to try and provide actual value for your football viewing dollar.*

So if you're a Kentucky fan, no one on earth can stop you from making fun of Louisville for losing to three real teams. If Bobby Petrino deserted your team, or if Bobby Petrino just seems generally loathsome to your general sensibility, well, no one's uncle and seven hell-trained mules can pull you away from that mockery.  If you loathe Louisville because one of their largest donors is John Schnatter, a rubberfaced demon slinging hot diabetes frisbees from a lard-cave in Kentucky, well, we can't dissuade you there, either.

Everyone else, though, can back off because Louisville did the bold thing, and we like it when programs do the bold thing even though they might have to start a freshman at tackle, figure out which one of three possible quarterbacks might start under live fire, and do it all against real competition. Stop making fun of them for that and their slightly misleading 0-3 record. (All losses came by a single score, and two were decided by a field goal's margin.)

Praise their courageous scheduling, and instead make fun of their busted-ass Affliction-reject uniforms.

LouisvilleBustedAss

If you put Louisville's uniforms in a refrigerator box with a bottle of Faygo on a full moon night and in the morning a dude with a chinstrap beard will be sleeping in it.

Louisville's uniforms look like Ja Rule is the school's most generous booster.

Louisville's uniforms google "Ed Norton American History X workout" at least once a week.

That font lost its job at Auntie Anne's because of "some bullshit about not buying oxy during work hours."

These uniforms failed a background check for massage therapy school.

These uniforms are saving up for a sick new spoiler.

These uniforms are banned from Sea World after they punched a dolphin for being "the metrosexuals of the ocean."

These uniforms are rollerblading on their way to a date.

These uniforms are getting a DUI rollerblading home from the date.

Jon Gosselin wears these Louisville uniforms at fetish parties.

The Louisville uniforms read on a website that the government can't legally prevent you from bringing nunchucks on a plane.

The Louisville uniforms saw that lawyer on the TV, he'll do just fine.

Louisville's uniforms think you should chill about them having sex in your kid's room. You were all on vacation.

These Louisville uniforms look like you're wearing the credits of a Uwe Boll vampire movie starting Snoop Dogg.

These Louisville uniforms list ferrets as dependents on their taxes.

Louisville's uniforms tried to pay child support in Dave & Busters prize tickets.

Louisville's uniforms are what a video game makes when they don't have the rights to the Atlanta Falcons uniforms but do have a Monster Energy Drink sponsorship

Louisville's uniforms were originally designed to be worn by jockeys in a Kid Rock-inspired horse race called the Kentucky Dirtby.

These Louisville uniforms are what bad guys wear in Guy Fieri's version of Tron.

Louisville's uniforms what Mountain Dew Code Red: The Person would look like.

Louisville's uniforms have sent several emails to TV studios about a show concept best described as "Top Chef, but for shoplifting."