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THE CURIOUS INDEX MOVES ON OUT TO BEVERLY

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HILLS, THAT IS. SWIMMING POOLS. MOVIE STARS. MASCOT CONTROVERSIES.

HUGH FREEZE IS DOING BEVERLY HILLBILLIES-INSPIRED LOCKER ROOM TALKS AND WE ARE TOTALLY HERE FOR THIS ALL OF US WE ARE TOTALLY HERE FOR THIS

Every day with Hugh Freeze has to be like being totally submerged in a deprivation tank filled with megachurch motivationals. You'd either go insane, or get so enraged you'd beat Alabama in Tuscaloosa AND NOW WE SEE YOUR EVIL PLAN, HUGH. Well done.

#FREETUNSIL. He's gonna be out a few more weeks for trying to make money and get things for selling his talents on an open market in a sport that won't let that happen.

THIS IS RUTGERS' INTERIM COACH. He banned his own band from his final game as head coach at Columbia, thus reducing the number of people in the stands by half, and finished with a record of 17-43. This makes him the second most successful head coach Columbia's had since 1973. Never, ever Columbia football. (We're saying: he's totally ready for whatever Rutgers football is going to do to him over the next three games.)

BRANDON SPIKES, OUR GREATEST AMERICAN. Jeremy Fowler on the implosion of the 2008--2010 Florida Gators is fun, especially because in with all the things people already knew -- like Percy Harvin beating the hell out of his wide receivers coach in the locker room -- there's a.) Joe Haden admitting to only tossing hundreds of one dollar bills in a New Orleans strip club and b.) Brandon Spikes hitting Tebow in non-contact situations no matter what anyone tells him.

SOUTH CAROLINA BY THIRTY. It's more apparent than ever that Steve Spurrier is close to retirement, and Brian Schottenheimer says he's not panicking about the passing game, so...yeah, Georgia is totally and completely doomed this weekend. Oh: Spurrier's gonna be on the Golf Channel with David Feherty this weekend. DOOMED. TOTALLY AND UTTERLY DOOMED.

WAS FEARLESS LEADER ON SPORTSCENTER LAST NIGHT? A: Maybe.