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THE CURIOUS INDEX NEVER PLAYS HURT

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SHIT WE BARELY PLAY WHEN WE'RE TIRED

Raj Mehta-USA TODAY Sports

THAT SEEMS DIFFICULT. Vernon Adams played against (and nearly beat) Michigan State with a broken index finger. That's a pretty good excuse for some of the missed throws he made, and a fun reminder that football players are not like regular students, because if I'd broken a finger I'd have used it as an excuse to skip chemistry lab for two months.

MARK THE DATE. UAB just signed Bill Clark to a new five-year contract and that means we exist in a very interesting point in history, where UAB's athletic department is officially, if briefly, more stable than that of the University of Texas.

THREE CHEERS. For Jake Olson, lifelong USC fan, blind long snapper, and now official member of the Trojans roster.

THREE ADDITIONAL CHEERS. For Mason Darrow and his teammates and Princeton. Darrow is about to become the first publicly out player to take the field for a Division I team, and this profile of him and his journey at Outsports is well worth your time.

ETC. It's Amy Poehler's birthday today, which means you're legally permitted to take the rest of the day off and watch Parks and Rec.