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THE CURIOUS INDEX FIRES A MAN BORN TO BE FIRED

WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED THIS WOULD GO WRONG BESIDES EVERYONE

By Spencer Hall
Brendan Maloney-USA TODAY Sports

AHAHAHHAHAHAA 22 MONTHS. Steve Patterson is fired just 22 months after taking the job as Texas AD and having everyone go YOU KNOW YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIRE HIM. Which they did, today, after the head of the nation's wealthiest athletic department embarked on a dipshit's run through the books, creating artificial value by charging for things heretofore considered givens, refusing to engage with Texas' major donors personally, publicly contradicting the University President on real estate planning, jacking up ticket prices, cutting travel for non-revenue sports, doing some shady accounting regarding a new tennis facility, and otherwise doing everything as badly as everyone said he would.

THIS ALSO SEEMS GOOD AND HEALTHY. Communication may also be a problem at Texas.

If you have had that thing where the boss who is your patron has been fired, and suddenly realized what an existential crisis you were in? That's Charlie Strong this a.m. P.S HOW ON EARTH DO YOU SCREW UP A JOB THAT INVOLVES KISSING RICH DUDES' ASSES ALL DAY LONG AND THEN WAITING FOR CHECKS TO ROLL IN. HOWWWWWW, WE ASK? HOWWWWWWW?

YES ALL OF THAT WAS FICTION. Remember this when you read "[person] refuted these reports everyone knew were completely accurate all along." And also that the guy who said this was a fiasco all along was right, and told a really good story about Patterson reading a statement off a teleprompter complete with "smile" and "smile bigger" as stage directions.

OH NO. NO NO NO NO NO DON'T LET HIM HIRE PEOPLE YOU'LL END UP WITH HEAD COACH GREG DAVIS--

IS THERE A COMPETENT AND DECENT PERSON IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING. Yes, one: David Cutcliffe.