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FACTOR FIVE FIVE FACTOR PREVIEW: LOUISIANA TECH AT WESTERN KENTUCKY

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BIG RED CANNOT BE KILLED

Joshua Lindsey-USA TODAY Sports

Last week, the Factor Five Five Factor Preview made a triumphant return by picking UNC to win. We're very, very good at this. The Thursday game in Week 2 is somewhat less enticing, but let's predict it anyways, using our patented system of five areas that mean nothing whatsoever.

NEBULOUS STATISTICAL COMPARISONS OF DUBIOUS VALIDITY

For no reason whatsoever, let's look at the passing games. Western Kentucky sputtered a bit in their first game, averaging 7 yards per pass attempt and only managing one touchdown. That's an (early) big step back from last season, when the Hilltoppers ranked 10th and 1st in those categories, respectively. Louisiana Tech, by comparison, averaged over 13 yards per pass and tossed five touchdowns in a drubbing of Southern University. Who, pray tell, could have been the spark behind this impressive fire?

(laughs manically for ten minutes before passing out)

ADVANTAGE: LOUISIANA TECH

LOUISIANA TECH, YOU'VE BEEN FACTOR'D!

MASCOT

This is Louisiana Tech's bulldog, Tech.

A very nice looking animal! And, well, there's Western Kentucky.

Nope nope nope nope nope noooooope. Just nope.

ADVANTAGE: LOUISIANA TECH

LOUISIANA TECH, YOU'VE BEEN FACTOR'D!

AURA

Having been to neither Bowling Green nor Houchens Industries-L.T. Smith Stadium, I asked resident SB Nation Kentucky expert Jon Bois for his thoughts on the area:

Bowling Green is an inverted spoonerisim of Been Growling. It's a good town.
the end

Thank you, Jon. As always, you remain the most helpful person on the Internet. But let's not ignore the "Houchens Industries" part of the stadium name. According to Wikipedia, Houchens operates over 400 grocery and convenience stores, including Save-A-Lot, Food Giant, Piggly Wiggly, and Mad Butcher. You read that right.

Nothing says "quality produce and possible serial murder" like The Mad Butcher!

ADVANTAGE: WESTERN KENTUCKY

WESTERN KENTUCKY, YOU'VE BEEN FACTOR'D!

NAMES

LOUISIANA TECH

Ephraim Kitchen

Beau Fitte

O'Shea Dugas

Boston Scott

Price Wilson

WESTERN KENTUCKY

Prince Charles Iworah

Tacorian Darden

Wonderful Terry

Ge'Monee Brown

Forrest Lamp

You can't seriously be unsure who we're going to pick here.

ADVANTAGE: WESTERN KENTUCKY

WESTERN KENTUCKY, YOU'VE BEEN FACTOR'D!

GRUDGES/SCORES TO SETTLE/SHEER CUSSEDNESS

Louisiana Tech and Western Kentucky have played each other exactly once - last year, when the Bulldogs won 59-10. Hilltopper QB Brandon Doughty had his worst game of the season, throwing four picks. But the real shame? You got your ass whooped by Skip Holtz. That can't sit well with you.

ADVANTAGE: WESTERN KENTUCKY

WESTERN KENTUCKY, YOU'VE BEEN FACTOR'D!

FINAL TOTAL: WKU 3, LOUISIANA TECH 2. Go cry about it, Skip Holtz.