INTRODUCING THE SHUT UP SCHEDULE

Everyone knows the best thing about college football: arguing about scheduling. It's totally normal to find out Alabama and Louisville are going to play each other in 2018 in what could be a really, really awesome non-conference game and say "well yeah but it's on a neutral field play a REAL road game Bama." Have you booed Baylor for not playing anyone recently? You should do that. Your Power 5 school will surely get around to scheduling them soon. Surely!

But let's say you don't want to get a bunch of shit about your schedule. We've put together a murderously difficult 2015 set that you, Unnamed Team That Wants To Get Everyone Off Your Fucking Case*, can actually play! This schedule only has teams that are at home and currently have a non-conference opponent in the week we've selected, so we're not messing up travel plans conference races. If you finish this gauntlet undefeated, you will have beaten every 2014 Playoff team, eight teams in the Top 15, and a regularly competitive independent school.  It's FOOLPROOF.

Here's what it looks like.

Week 1: at Oregon
Week 2: at Florida State
Week 3: at TCU
Week 4: at Ohio State
Week 5: at Clemson
Week 6: at Ole Miss
Week 7: at BYU
Week 8: at LSU
Week 9: at Arkansas
Week 10: at Air Force
Week 11: at Missouri (in Kansas City)
Week 12: at Alabama
Week 13: at Georgia Tech

Look at that glorious sequence of pain. (Please note: the SEC's overrepresented here because they space out their non-conference games more than others. We mean no offense and wait you're already calling us biased aw shit.) Criss-crossing the country, playing teams with completely different styles and strengths. It's beautiful.

*Notre Dame. This team is definitely Notre Dame.