4. Al Capone
8. Black lung
10. Gloriella, The Luminous and Disease-Free Super-Whore of St. Louis! (apostrophe part of legal proper name)
11. Lafayette Leopards
13. The Kuomintang (ft. Chiang Kai-Shek, Beanie Siegel, and Cory Gunz)
15. The beautiful and still-kissable corpse of Rudolf Valentino
16. Telling your beau/belle how much you adore them by yelling through a giant fucking megaphone as loud as you can for hours on end
17. Razzbestos - the asbestos kids love to eat!
19. Mussolini's left pectoral muscle
20. C.S. Lewis's abandoned first manuscript, "No Literally, I think Jesus Christ Was Actually A Huge Badass Talking Lion"
22. The classic silent film "A Nude Hungarian Woman Bathes Herself In a Forest Pond For 90 Minutes Strictly For Art and Art Alone"
23. Palvin Coolidge, the Presidential impersonator famed for his line "I'm the President, hello I am the President hello"
24. Giving your children nothing for Christmas because it will teach them that life is about work. (Also you spent the present money on showings of "A Nude Hungarian Woman Bathes Herself In a Forest Pond Strictly For Art and Art Alone")
25. Penn Quakers