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THE MC LISTS A TOP 25 FROM 1926

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THE FIRST YEAR OF THE TOP 25 SHOWS THAT VERY LITTLE HAS CHANGED

1. Alabama

2. Stanford

3. Syphilis

4. Al Capone

5. Navy

6. Michigan

7. SUPERSYPHILIS

8. Black lung

9. Northwestern

10. Gloriella, The Luminous and Disease-Free Super-Whore of St. Louis! (apostrophe part of legal proper name)

11. Lafayette Leopards

12. Racism

13. The Kuomintang (ft. Chiang Kai-Shek, Beanie Siegel, and Cory Gunz)

14. MEGASUPERSYPHILIS

15. The beautiful and still-kissable corpse of Rudolf Valentino

16. Telling your beau/belle how much you adore them by yelling through a giant fucking megaphone as loud as you can for hours on end

17. Razzbestos - the asbestos kids love to eat!

18. Vanderbilt

19. Mussolini's left pectoral muscle

20. C.S. Lewis's abandoned first manuscript, "No Literally, I think Jesus Christ Was Actually A Huge Badass Talking Lion"

21. Army

22. The classic silent film "A Nude Hungarian Woman Bathes Herself In a Forest Pond For 90 Minutes Strictly For Art and Art Alone"

23. Palvin Coolidge, the Presidential impersonator famed for his line "I'm the President, hello I am the President hello"

24. Giving your children nothing for Christmas because it will teach them that life is about work. (Also you spent the present money on showings of "A Nude Hungarian Woman Bathes Herself In a Forest Pond Strictly For Art and Art Alone")

25. Penn Quakers