We're reaching the point where we can't even make fun of Dabo Swinney without a faint tinge of admiration poisoning everything. Consider what your 45 years old could look like, dear reader, and then consider Dabo's. He's rich, and he's on a boat with a bunch of football players playing chaperone and doing the whip.
Or at least trying to do the whip. He's definitely beginning an attempt to do the whip, an attempt that if we try at the age of 45 will result in two dislocations and three major ligament tears. Dabo Swinney is an old man who probably has more fun than you, is the point, and not just because he's making millions off underpaid or unpaid college athletes. (That's a nice accent note, sure, but Dabo'd probably find a way to find sunshine picking rags out of a garbage pile on an overcast day.)