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NEUTRAL SITE GAMES THE PUBLIC WILL LOVE

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SPORTS SHOULD, AT LEAST IN THEORY, BE FUN. SO LET'S PLAY FOOTBALL IN WEIRD AND FUN PLACES.

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I find during this offseason that my thoughts often drift towards Tennessee playing Virginia Tech at Bristol Motor Speedway. There won't be a good seat in the house, but I'm honestly considering driving the 669 miles (nice) to see this monstrosity of a game in person. As someone who is staunchly anti-neutral site games, this is one of the exceptions I will allow, because good lord it's just perfect.

In the spirit of this amazing game and the bourbon-soaked spectacle it is sure to be, let's come up with some other good neutral site games that aren't played in sanitized NFL laboratories.

Louisville vs. Kentucky, the infield at Churchill Downs. I'm honestly surprised this hasn't happened yet. Maybe it's because both programs and their fans are too busy OBVIOUSLY NOT CARING ABOUT THE OTHER.

Nebraska vs. Iowa, an actual cornfield. We just need to make sure Farmer Hansen is compensated for lost crops, lest Paul Newman have his legs broke.

Texas vs. Texas A&M, a barge in the Houston shipping channel. Set up bleachers running the entire length of the channel, maybe set an attendance record. A new rule also states that if a player falls off the boat, his team loses a point.

Florida State vs. Florida, in the Everglades with each player getting their own airboat. No explanation necessary.

Penn State vs. Pitt, Pocono Raceway. Say no to a triangular football field if you want to, but I won't.

Syracuse vs. Buffalo, in the park behind my house. I'm relatively sure no one wants to see this game, but if they could just meet in the middle, I'll go and set down some cones for the sidelines and we'll get this thing going. Just bring a camping chair and a cooler and we'll all have a great time go Bulls.

UConn vs. Boston College, just kind of standing on the sidelines during a Patriots game.

Colorado vs. Colorado State, literally anywhere in the state. The whole dang place looks like a postcard but we need to be careful and not lose players in the dense snowpack like last time.

Michigan vs. The Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Rungrado 1st of May Stadium. Where there's smoke, there's fire.