clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

THE WOLFPACK ROBS A BANK AND MAYBE GETS EIGHT WINS

New, 959 comments

NOPE DEFINITELY NOT A SUSPECT HIDING IN THIS CROWD OF FANS

Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

First, just check Cookout for the suspect. If he doesn't roll through there in eight hours after the robbery wearing the exact same sweatshirt, then you know the culprit was a pro from out of town.

Second, NC State returns nine starters on offense, has a butt-easy run through the first four games of its schedule, and could win eight games if it just goes .500 down the remainder of its slate. Syracuse and Wake get them to six wins without much fantasy; a split with with the rest gets them eight, an upset gets them nine, and a miracle or two along the way has them at double digit wins, something the Wolfpack's only done once in their entire history as a football program.

(They did that under Chuck Amato in 2002, in case you were dying to find a coach who illustrated your theory that fattened schedules have created some flabby standard-making. You know: besides Will Muschamp.)

Third, it's a nice thought to wear a Schnellenberger mask, but a poor tribute to the man. Howard Schnellenberger never robbed banks. He wined and dined the women of high society, seduced them with his wit and charm, and then quietly stole their jewelry after the camera panned away and showed the discreet waving of expensive curtains waving in the moonlight. (And they asked him back the next week, and thanked him.)