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THE MC IS PLANNING A TRIP

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PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO PACK YOUR UNDERWEAR AGAIN, ANDY.

Mark Kolbe/Getty Images

Most neutral site games are unconscionably wack. College footballl is blessed with a multitude of amazing on-campus stadiums that are overflowing with atmosphere, and every year we take a few of those and play them in that sterile spaceship barn in Dallas. It sucks.

But if you're going to play a neutral site game, you should really play a neutral site game. Get crazy with it and say, fly across the world to play not one but multiple games in Australia, a place where everyone's in shape and skips work to drink all the time, and nearly everything can kill you.

But why stop there? If we're going to make college football a global game, let's do the damn thing and play games everywhere.

Mexico: Everyone will wear either Dallas Cowboys or Club America jerseys to the game, but nevertheless, it will be ON AND POPPIN in the Azteca, which is sort of like playing at Colorado if the stadium was twice as big and filled with smog and lunatics.

Brazil: You already know.

Argentina: Steak and fernet for everyone. EVERYONE.

South Africa: For everyone who never got to see Chappie.

Japan: It's time for Lehigh and Lafayette to fulfill their destiny and light up the Tokyo Dome.

China: Someone get a broom and dust off the Bird's Nest, it's not like their schedule is busy anyway.

Germany: Let's get Oregon into the Westfalenstadion so the good folks on the Yellow Wall don't have to change their clothes.

England

Feel free to add to our itinerary, it's not like we're working on a budget or anything.