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LOST TEXT FROM ALABAMA VS. OHIO STATE SUGAR BOWL RECAP EMERGES

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BEHOLD THIS VERY REAL* THING I FOUND ON THE INTERNET

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

So, there I was the other day, just minding my own business and surfing the 'net, when I stumbled on the post game recap from Alabama's official site, rolltide.com (ROLL TIDE!). Everything seemed normal, but then I noticed a section near the bottom that sounded eerily like that hilarious flailing section from the Football Australia game wrap after the Matildas lost 3-1 to the United States on Monday night in the Women's World Cup.

I mean, look at this:

Ohio State, well, they just aren't that good

Do go on.

The Buckeyes certainly like to talk a good game. The reality is they play a fairly rudimentary, B1G-standard run-first spread, were short of ideas on offense and outmaneuvered tactically on defense. "Drop back and hand it off to Elliott" seemed to be the default game-plan for a team stuck in the past.

Should've been fairly rudimentary to stop a guy from getting 230 yards on only 20 carries, no?

College football has moved, in case Urban Meyer hasn't noticed. Ohio State were outplayed by a better, smarter Crimson Tide team before Alabama ran out of gas.

This is adorable, my guy.

Ohio State relied on the individual brilliance of Ezekiel Elliott to win them this game. And Cardale Jones in the backfield saved the Buckeyes on numerous occasions in front of a vocal "road" crowd in New Orleans. If it wasn't for this world-class third-string quarterback, this could've been a different game.

[Like, 27 crying laughing emojis]

Good thing I copied out the section of the story, as I went back to it a few minutes later and it was gone. It's been mysteriously scrubbed from cached versions of the story too BUT SERIOUSLY IT WAS THERE I SAW IT.