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MARK MAY, FILM CRITIC

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NO ONE BLOCKS A SCREEN LIKE ESPN'S NEW MOVIE CRITIC

Mark May is off College Football Final at last, and we're frankly sad about this-- not as sad as we were about him abandoning his Twitter account, sure, but still a little sad. No one played heel better at one in the morning, or made more consistent negative remarks about Notre Dame or Ohio State, and those two things alone are badges of merit. Farewell, tireless hornets-nest-kicker. May you find a soft landing spot somewhere at the WWL, preferably covering the noon Big Ten games on ESPN Purgatory.

In the meantime, there's definitely one thing we want to see out of Mark May, and that's more Twitter movie reviews.

See? A natural gift for cadence combined with a flair for appropriate bombast, all the tools a critic needs to shine in the dull field of moribund hot-take cinema commentary. That's not even contrarianism. We're sure Mark May believed Olympus Has Fallen was the best movie he'd seen in years, and would happily refuse to elaborate before moving on to his next cinematic hot take.

Like so:

MMMovieReviewsMarigold

MMMovieAloha

MMMovieTDE

MMMovieHotTub

MMMovieGameofWar

MMMovieLego

MMMovieLego2

MMMovieTomorrow

MMMovieSniper

MMMovieGetHard

MMMovieRunAllNight

MMMovieEntourage

MMMovieMKX

MMMovieDeerHunter

MMMovieBitchPerfect

MMMovieBitchPerfectApology

MMMovie50Shades

MMMovieTwizzlers

MMMovieInception

MMMovieMortdecai

MMMovieMadMax

MMMovieChappie

MMMovieDanica

MMMoviePaulWalker

MMMovieExMachina