The bears: pic.twitter.com/RVvSU7okV1
— Jeffy C (@jeffyc22) May 27, 2015
BEARS COMIN' TO CLEMSON. Given recent events on campus involving Dabo Swinney and his endorsements or non-endorsements of political stances, we'll write this press release for Clemson.
Recently, a bear was sighted on the Clemson campus. The bear made his appearance on his own, and without the official endorsement of the school, the athletic department, or coach Dabo Swinney.
The appearance of the bear was strictly a social one. In no way does the bear's appearance with Dabo Swinney represent an endorsement of any of the bear's political beliefs. Dabo Swinney leaving piles of garbage outside his office labeled "BEAR FOOD" is also coincidental.
Furthermore, though Dabo Swinney has been seen in the company of bears and often wears pro-bear paraphernalia and attends meetings with a pro-bear stance, he disavows any claim to the bear agenda including mauling, surviving off trash, pooping wherever they like, and the widespread and shameless raiding of picnics for their own pleasure. To be clear: Coach Swinney admires bears for their tenacity and the work they do fertilizing the countryside, but he does not endorse them politically.
Dabo Swinney was going to feed the bears again by upturning an entire dumpster of cafeteria garbage outside his office, but due to some people's incorrect presumptions about what this might mean and the distraction it provides for his football team, he has decided not to do this today.