Everett Golson has decided he's not going to spend any more time in Indiana, which is generally a pretty good decision. Whether moving to Tallahassee is also a sound decision or not is beside the point, the man is on the move. Since college football is the world's greatest pretty dumb sport, genuine note was given to the fact that Golson and Mark Richt followed each other on Twitter, as if that is a sign that maybe he's headed to Georgia and not that maybe they just wanted in on each other's fire tweets.
This may be the closest we get in college football to genuine European soccer-style ITK nonsense, so let's just take a second and savor this. "My mate saw Golson in Heathrow in a yellow pullover, it's done and dusted to Watford."
If this world is just and fair, however, Golson should just base his transfer decision on which coach can shoot off the best tweets. To be fair to all the competitors here, we will only be sampling their most recent tweets.
And I had an awesome visit at the potters house in Jefferson Georgia!— Mark Richt (@MarkRicht) May 14, 2015
I've never been there, but I bet the Potter's house in Jefferson is GREAT. This tweet, however?
#ChompChomp!!!!!!— Jim McElwain (@CoachMcElwain) May 14, 2015
Okay, a little better I suppose, but using exclamation points after a hashtag is sort of weird, and points deducted for not putting a space between the word and the exclamation points like a Real Internet Man.
Happy Mother's Day from the Crimson Tide! pic.twitter.com/bqhpjfxjkR— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) May 10, 2015
Nick Saban doesn't have an account, but he's not a person so it's fine. They do have Lane Kiffin though, and he's out there respecting mothers and why don't you call you dang mom, you ungrateful sod?
Me and my favorite Gov! Here in Hilton Head pic.twitter.com/n1poUzTwfv— Coach Steve Spurrier (@SC_HBC) April 16, 2015
It's not a backhanded swipe at someone -- unless there's a different governor out there looking at this tweet and is absolutely CRUSHED they're not in this picture -- so we're going to pass.
Geaux Tigers! What a game - great job Paul. Great win for the LSU baseball team tonight over Texas A&M. LM— Les Miles (@LSUCoachMiles) April 24, 2015
Points deducted for this not being a video of Les eating a baseball. Look, we all know he does it, and it's impressive, so why not share with the world?
Jimbo Fisher has an account at @fsucoachfisher, but he has never tweeted. He is the wisest man of all, and therefore Golson's headed to Tallahassee ha haaaaaaaaa GO NOLES.
ＮＥＶＥＲ ＴＷＥＥＴ— Erik Malinowski (@erikmal) July 25, 2014