THE 25 MOST POWERFUL FIGURES IN SPORTS MEDIA

25. Linda Cohn. Former hockey goalie in high school and college, survived being attacked by rowdy teens in an arcade with minimal damage.

24. Bruce Feldman. Healthy eater, especially for a traveling college football writer, and has twins (double dad strength).

23. John McEnroe. Shouts body fat and muscular atrophy away from his body.

22. Dan Le Batard. Natural heftin' strength.

21. Ed Aschoff. Pound for pound power. Speaks French, but probably in the terrifying wilderness lumberjack way.

20. Jon Gruden. Indestructible torso of insane density and strength.

19. Chris Fowler. Sleep somehow weakens him; he rejects it and absorbs energy from the stars.

18. John Skipper. Earned his job through series of underground pit fights, per company policy.

17. Vin Scully. Can crush canned pears into a gooey metal ball if you put Hitler's face on it.

16. Sage Steele. Beats a cloned version of Doug Collins to a bloody pulp before every NBA Countdown, just to remind him who's in charge.

15. Tony Siragusa. All the strength of The Kingpin, all the everything else of The Cake Boss.

14. Stan Verrett. Compact but can throw a cigarette machine across three blackjack tables if you rile him up proper.

13. Joe Rogan. Can deadlift in three different dimensional planes, including one the GOVERNMENT WON'T ADMIT EXISTS.

12. Chris Spielman. The nicest man who can probably actually do the Bane Backbreaker to you without sweating.

11. Sarah Spain. The country is named after her because she briefly ruled it by force in the mid 90s.

10. Mary Carillo. Roped like a damn rock climber.

9. Andy Staples. Like Obelix in a bowtie.

8. Danny Kanell. Can rep his body weight in wrong presses.

7. Dave Pasch. Quietly one of the most feared undercard opponents on the Pac-12 Toughman circuit.

6. Chris Berman. Carry that much water for the NFL and you'll get some sick traps and grip strength eventually. #originaldadbod

5. Jay Glazer. Capable of turning Subway footlongs into pure psychic energy.

4. Mike Ditka. Startle him and he'll headbutt anything he believes to be a threat through the goddamn ceiling.

3. Luke Thomas. No, really, he's fucking huge and scary.

2. Jackie MacMullan. Can fix a kid's bike without a wrench and slapped the red into Dan Shaughnessy's perm.

1. Brooks Melchior. HE'S BEEN LIFTING ALL THIS TIME, YOU FOOLS.

(Just missing the Top 25 - Pete Prisco)