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MACK BROWN GOES TO DUBAI

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WE DON'T WANT THESE POWERS BUT WE HAVE THEM

THE EDSBS CHARITY BOWL IS STILL ON. GIVE YOUR MONEY TO A GOOD CHARITY. GIVE IT NOW.

We've been joking about this for two or three years now: ahahaha, look, someone's gonna play a game in Dubai, because no one in Dubai knows what money is or means anymore. Ahahhaha, look, it's probably gonna be a school from Texas, because like people in Dubai they don't know what money is once they get oil money in their veins. Tee-hee, it'd be funny if Mack Brown was the guy they sent over there to arrange it, because he'd probably end up recruiting Qatar as a safety and--

WE TOLD YOU. WE WRITE HISTORY'S TRUE PATH BEFORE IT HAPPENS AND CANNOT CONTROL WHERE IT GOES. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT WE SEE THINGS AND CAN'T STOP SEEING THEM. Having the unmonetizable superpower of being psychic about certain sports events has zero benefit, but it's still a superpower and we'll take it.

P.S. Please let the opponent be BYU, if only to scare the daylights out of the Longhorns and get their fans showing up speaking perfect Arabic riding bikes in 110 degree heat.