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THE MC ENTERS DAY 359 OF THE CRAB LEG ERA

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DRIVING TOWARD 30K IN THE CHARITY BOWL WITH A FULL PLATE OF PUBLIX'S FINEST

THE EDSBS CHARITY BOWL is in day four and driving toward the goal of $30K for New American Pathways. Give here, and force us to brand our body in the name of charity.

DAY 359. That's where we stand in the new age of crab leg-based college football stories, since Our Lord and Savior Jimbo hath turned the loaves into armored pre-fishes, and hath given the media enough fodder to eat for nigh a year. Publix officially denies Winston's account of his having a "hook-up" at the store after the company mounted their own investigation. Note: A grocery store investigating anything is funny, but the notion of Publix having their own detectives and security is a freaking Kevin James script in the making. Go write that, and coin millions from the poor taste of the masses.

Now you, dear reader, are forced to choose between believing a college student with a history of flaky, impulsive decisions, or Publix Public Relations Spokessandwich Chicken Tender Sub.

PublixSub

As for our house, we trust Spokesperson Sub. Come at us, Wegman's Mob.

Updates for the charity drive follow:

THE TOTAL: A slow day, which Wednesday usually is, has us at $19,267 as of this morning. Michigan still leads by a substantial margin thanks to a prodigious shot of the Ann Arbor money cannon, with another Wolverine donor throwing down a grand out of nowhere. We're on pace, but the last few days will have to be furious in order to get the fine image of a wolverine on our flesh after meeting the goal of $30,000 in total donations.

HELLO TEXAS AND MINNESOTA. Big bumps from both schools in response to rival's donations, with a nice little tussle breaking out between Minnesota and Wisconsin in the afternoon.

FLORIDA AND ALABAMA ARE ONLY $40 APART. So in their honor, we stick our thumbs in the eye of a common foe currently huffing the sweet fumes of recent success.

OhioStateIsTooHappy

Mmmm. It's a bit musty, but this bottle of old spite still holds up if you let it breathe for a minute.

The totals for all teams follow. Give here, here, here, and here. That's all the same place, but we wanted to get the point across: we're $11K short and driving, so find your dead rich relatives and steal their credit cards that haven't been shut off and give, give, give.

Designation # of Donations Donation Total
University of Michigan 93 6375.49
Georgia Institute of Technology 11 2149.02
University of Texas 4 803.82 (60.44 Monthly x11)
Ohio State University 10 686.44
University of Georgia 3 603.12
Texas A & M 10 586.31
Louisiana Tech University 1 487
University of Minnesota 4 483.82 (30.14 Monthly x11)
University of Alabama 6 445.88
University of Florida 9 409.48
Michigan State 5 394.41
University of California Los Angeles - UCLA 1 380.2
Notre Dame 9 337.28
University of Wisconsin 7 292.48
Harvard 3 226.24
Case Western Reserve 1 220
Auburn University 4 212.56
Virginia Tech 6 211.37
Clemson University 5 195.72
University of Nebraska - Lincoln 3 168.65
University of Oklahoma 2 161.18
Boise State 1 160.49
Kenyon College 1 159.42
Florida State University 3 154
University of Southern California 3 150.5
University of Mississippi - Ole Miss 4 149.92
Arizona State University 1 142
Syracuse University 1 138.14
Indiana University 4 134.88
University of Oregon 3 134.86
University of Memphis 1 121.17
Hamilton College 1 111.11
UAB 1 100
University of California San Diego - UCSD 1 100
University of Maryland 2 98.89
University of Tennessee 2 95.33
University of South Carolina 3 93.43
Make Spencer Eat Cheese U 2 91.06
Oregon State University 1 79.3
West Virginia University 1 75.37
Mississippi State 2 75.03
Oneida YMCA 1 75
Penn State University 2 73.14
Miami University (Ohio) 1 66.06
University of Arkansas 2 62.14
Baylor 1 61.58
Duke University 2 60.55
University of Kentucky 1 60
Wake Forest University 2 60
University of Washington 3 57.45
University of Pittsburgh 3 56.23
Georgia State University 1 50
University of Southern Mississippi 1 50
University of Missouri - Mizzou 2 49.1
Texas State University 1 48.45
University of Virginia 2 47.39
Western Michigan University 1 44.14
University of Idaho 1 43.42
Marshall 1 42.27
Miami University (Florida) 1 40
Princeton 1 39.34
Texas Tech 1 39.33
University of Louisville 1 38.01
Kansas State 1 35.18
North Carolina State University 1 35.07
Bowling Green State University 1 33.28
University of North Carolina 1 31.28
University of Utah 1 31.17
University of Kansas 1 30
Central Michigan University 1 26.36
Fresno State 1 25
Iowa State 1 25
Kalamazoo 1 25
Oklahoma State 1 25
University of Arizona 1 25
University of North Dakota 1 25
University of Cincinnati 1 24.51
College of the Holy Cross 1 23
Boston College 1 22
Grand Valley State University 1 21.17
University of Louisiana Monroe 1 21.14
(The) College of Wililam and Mary 1 16.93
Columbia University 1 16.13
Washington State University 1 13.17
State University of New York at Buffalo 1 10.44
University of Colorado Bolder 1 10.09
University of Rhode Island 1 10