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DO WE LIKE THIS: CHEESE

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THE EASIEST DEBATE WE'VE EVER HAD

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Thank you all for sticking with us during Spencer's vacation. Things will be back to normal (whatever that means) around here next week, but we want to end with one important debate. Today, Jane and I finally settle the contentious question - Do We Like Cheese?

RYAN NANNI: Of course. Cheese is delicious.

JANE COASTON: Cheese is like salt, but way tastier. How could you be opposed to tastier salt? I would get a salt lick if that weren't weird and harmful.

RN: Yeah, it's not worth the judgmental looks when people ask you what your horse's name is and you just stay silent. That's not a problem when you buy cheese.

JC: I don't even consume dairy that often but i will break that shit on a dime for extra sharp cheddar.

RN: Cheese is great for every meal. Breakfast? Bagel sandwiches and omelettes. Lunch? Tacos, salads, any number of sandwiches. Dinner? Pizza, son. Pizza.

JC: My only concern is when people consume weaksauce cheese. Fuck your brie. I want cheese that's made it out of Shawshank all the way to Zihuatanejo with the cash from that box. I want cheese that's seen some shit. I want cheese that has a thousand yard stare and shouldn't be allowed to drink alone. Put that shit on a plate with some walnuts, motherfucker. I'll eat that.

RN: Cheese is so good that you can suggest putting it on any other food product and I will strongly consider that you are not crazy for doing so. Cheese on apple pie, sure. Tell me a slice of manchego improves my coffee. Insist that I've never really had a banana unless i've dipped it in melted fontina. I will believe you, not because you are smart or trustworthy, but because cheese is more powerful than doubt.

JC: Cheese is great, but good cheese is greater, and cheese that could have a record for like, second-degree burglary is the best kind of cheese. Like, not manslaughter cheese. but a good ol' fashioned B & E cheese. The kind of cheese that the waiter warns you about.

RN: Are there even worthwhile appetizers in a world without cheese? What, you think people are coming over for the crudités? Come on. Cheese is what is making this party happen. Cheese is what binds us together as a people. Cheese is democracy in edible form. So yes, we like cheese.

JC: CHEESE.