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INTRODUCING THE FUTURE OF CHAMPIONSHIP VENUES

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FROM EDSBS ENGINEERING & EMBEZZLEMENT

Per a report from ESPN's Brett McMurphy, a bunch of cities are planning to submit a bid (or at least considering a bid) to host the College Football Playoff championship game in 2018, 2019, and 2020. Some of these cities would be fine choices, and some of these cities are Indianapolis. This system, however, is hopelessly outdated. Our urban areas change so rapidly now that it's difficult to say what New Orleans or Miami or Charlotte will look like in five years. Would they still be ideal choices for this event? Would they even want to host at that point?

These are mobile times we live in, and college football needs a mobile solution. Behold: HOVERSTADIUM.

A fully functional, easily moveable, state-of-the-art football facility. Unlike traditional venues, HOVERSTADIUM is not bound by foundations or zoning restrictions. With just a flight plan, a month's notice, and 193,000 gallons of fuel, HOVERSTADIUM can host a football game almost anywhere on Earth.

1. How much would HOVERSTADIUM cost to construct?

The better question is how much would HOVERSTADIUM save us over the long run. No longer will we have to worry about inclement weather canceling valuable sporting events; with HOVERSTADIUM, we merely move the field of play to better climes. When you consider that modern fixed stadiums cost over a billion dollars only to see games delayed or canceled, you realize any price for HOVERSTADIUM is a bargain.

2. Is HOVERSTADIUM green?

In so many ways. Because HOVERSTADIUM needs no permanent home, countless acres in our nation's cities and college towns are freed up for parks, gardens, and protected refuges. HOVERSTADIUM also reduces the wasteful travel required by bowl games - instead of flying and renting a car to get to the championship game they'll inevitably lose, Oregon fans can have the inevitable loss come to them!

3. Wait, isn't that FIU's stadium?

Yes, but it doesn't appear they're actively using it or will mind if we just take it from them.

4. Can HOVERSTADIUM really go anywhere?

The only limit is your imagination! Picture USC and Wisconsin squaring off in Yellowstone National Park.

Or Miami and Georgia playing the final game of the season at Cocoa Beach.

Or even a Boston College-Notre Dame title game in the middle of the World's Largest Omelette.

HOVERSTADIUM: You'll Never Go To New York For A Championship Game Again!