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WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU'RE RECRUITING

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INSIDE THE MIND OF AN EXPECTANT COACH AND NO, THIS HAS NO RELATION TO ANYTHING GOING ON IN MY PERSONAL LIFE OR HOW POORLY I'M MANAGING IT

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

Oh, this is so exciting!  A head coaching gig at a power program!  It's what we've wanted all along, and it's taken so much hard work and hoping to get here!  It's a wondrous gift!

Recruits?  No, I hadn't thought about recruits yet. Of course I know we're going to need some but-

Other teams have been signing players since the fall?  I didn't even know I was going to have the job then that doesn't even seem fair but there's got to be some good ones left, right?

...mostly two stars. Okay, well there's gotta be some hidden gems left there, we'll just need to be a little more diligent...

What system am I running? I don't know. I haven't even filled out my staff yet.

I guess we need to hire some coordinators

GOOD COORDINATORS COST HOW MUCH

Can your mom just come live with us for a while?  She knows how to run offense, my stomach is wrecked after every Christmas dinn-OW SORRY SORRY KIDDING

No, no, we can make this work.  Let's just be calm, everyone goes through this at the beginning of their career, I'm sure.

Okay let's buy a book, there's got to be a book on how to recruit.

I'm gonna google "Hugh Freeze book", he's gotta have a secret, been getting a lot of good recruits lately

Huh. He hasn't written a book

It's like he doesn't want people knowing how he's getting all these recruits.

What if we just go on some recruiting boards and see what they're saying?  Might be some valuable insight there.

hmmm they think all the top recruits are going to Kentucky

It's not like the Internet to be wrong

But that doesn't sound right

Okay, you know what? Let's just look in the local paper, I bet there's some great kids right here in town!

hmmm they're all committed to Alabama

What if we just go for ones who've got behavioral or legal problems? We might be able to get some good deals there.

hmmm they're all committed to Louisville

The season starts in seven months! How are we going to make this work!?

We're not ready for this.  We thought we were, but maybe we should've just waited an extra year or two, gotten a little further along in our careers, you know, been *ready* ready to take on such a big job.

NO, NO, OF COURSE I'M NOT SORRY WE DID THIS I'M SORRY I SAID ANYTHING

what if we just paid players

let's just pay players

okay I think we're going to be fine