clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

DEAR AUBURN: LEAVE THE DOG ALONE

New, 1095 comments

IT IS BY NAME A CAT SCHOOL, AFTER ALL

Trust this advice from a fan of a team whose players and their interactions with dogs have never gone well: leave the dog alone. Yes, that is an adorable dog. All dogs are in their own way adorable, even the Xoloitzcuintli. That's the dog in the Westminster that looked like a hellbeast birthed from the unholy union of a doberman and a sentient, burning oil slick. They're used as living warming pads by pain sufferers, and seem to be perfectly happy just laying on people and waiting around to be fed despite their obvious demon genes.

So yes, even if you are walking to class and see an adorable dog and it turns out to be a service dog, Auburn football players, DO NOT PET THE DOG. Also, don't run up and yell WHAT at the person when they ask you to stop petting the dog, because it is Auburn, and there are plenty of dogs to pet. Brave, fearless dogs there to advance the researches of Auburn's School of Exploding Dog Studies. Dogs that don't belong to a veteran with PTSD who has the dog for that exact reason, and who goes to a local television station and tells them all about it.

P.S. Why you gotta specify "female" veteran, AL.com? We mean, a veteran is a veteran.

P.P.S. Okay maybe Auburn players should just give up on being close to dogs at all, ever.